 | |
 | "That's a decent swim. For an eight-year-old with one leg." |
| 'My goal isn't to create a bunch of sociopaths who are incapable of functioning in society" |
| "This team reminds me of the last days of the Roman Empire. As the empire was falling to pieces, mercenaries had to be hired. Jim Born (Former National A Team member and 1990 World Championship team member) is our mercenary and all of you bozos are bringing us down." |
| "Swim practice is a lot like going to mass, in the sense that there are three types of people who attend. Those who receive a lot of grace. Those who receive a little grace. And those who receive no grace. For those who receive no grace, all I can say is pick another religion." |
| "You must knead the dough" "The taper is like a cookie cutter. You shape the dough" |
| Yeah, the Gator Swim Club. That's spelled G,A,... |
| Donna DeVerona - "John, you look the same." J.C - "But you don't" |
| "Yeah, 'Betsy' how do those extra 30 pounds feel now?" - As 'Betsy' died in a 200 Freestyle. |
| Well, Melissa, I see you've finally found a test that you can get a hundred on." - After Melissa took the SATs. |
| "Good job, big Reilly, you beat all the girls." |
| "That's a pretty good time, for a girl." (said to male swimmer) |
| "This is not a country club." |
| "Let's not swim like a bunch of labashes." |
| "I guess you're sleeping in the bottom bunk tonight, big Reilly." - After big Reilly got beat by brother Matt Reilly |
| "A season is like mixing up some Kool Aid. Swimming is the mix, all that other stuff is the water. The more water you add, the crappier the Kool Aid." - excerpt from the infamous Kool Aid speech, Sept. 1993 |
| "Welcome to the House of Pain." 10/20/96 at 5:30a.m. |
| "Doherty, if your father doesn't tell me how to coach then I won't tell him how to slice his bologna." |
| "Ah, Doherty, how about I tell your dad, 'Ah, sorry Ray, but your son just can't cut the mustard.'" |
| "Yes, Tobie's back. She's a kinder, gentler, and slower Tobie now." |
| "You're swimming slow." - After Dustin Harris asked John what he was doing wrong. |
| "She has about as much life in her as a three day old cadaver." |
| "Now I have an attendance book so I can see how many workouts you didn't make." |
| John to a male swimmer: "Surely you'll swim faster today." Swimmer: "Don't call me Shirley." John: "Well you swim like Mabel." |
| John commenting on a Badger swimmer's new tye-dye workout suit: "You look like Jerry Garcia in that suit. You swim like him too." |
| John at a team meeting before the second night of finals at the Burgdorf Invitational (1/16/99): "I have two points to make. First, Sean Lehrer swam like a labash this morning. Second, Chris Driwinga thinks he can out do me with those fancy sneakers, but it won't happen." |
| Swimmer: "John, I think I can swim faster tonight than I did this morning." John: "Good. Otherwise we'll place a bag over your head and have you walk around the pool deck while everyone beats you with wooden clubs." |
| J.C.:"Carey? That's Irish. No Irish swimmer has ever amounted to
anything." R.C.:"Well, my mom is Italian." J.C.:"They stink too." |
| "We will never be a big fish in a small pond." (Translates to welcome to Badger, you are on the team.) |
| Richelle Fox (on her first day at Badger) - "John, where's the
slow lane?" John - "They're all slow." |
| On July 3, 1999 at the Quebec Cup - "Allow me to note what happened on this day 28 years ago. Jim Morrison was found dead in a bathtub in a hotel room in Paris. He was a flawed American genius. The same can be said for this team - a bunch of flawed Americans." |
| "Shorts are for pansies" - when asked why he was wearing long pants in the summer. |
| "Now you can go home and say you're a fast swimmer." - To the team after a time trial at Manhattanville (with sarcasm). |
| "Whoa, Betsy, now you're moving up the scale...I probably shouldn't mentions scales." - After "Betsy" died in a timed 500 freestyle in practice |
| "If Joshua doesn't come to the mountain then the mountain comes to Joshua" - when no one asked him what the team would be doing for a 5:30 am workout |
| "Bring Home the Bacon." |
| "Fight conquers Fat." - as Badger battled a rival team for a team title at a local meet. |
| To a swimmer having difficulty with some cross-pool underwater swims - "You have the lung capacity of a small furry animal. we have to be fish here" |
| At the 1981 Senior Mets-morning trials - "Albo, you look really good in that warm-up
suit. You look like a Badger." (After BSC had recently changed from their red and blue, synthetic 'Disco Sweats' apparel, back to the traditional red and black, Champion hooded cotton sweatsuits.)
After the 1981 Senior Mets Finals - "Albo, when I saw you in that sweatsuit this morning, I knew you were going to win." |
| Tory Nelson after a disappointing swim - "Thats it! I'm giving up swimming and taking up curling instead!" John - "How about knitting?" |
Thanks to Dave Doherty, Kevin Reilly, Matt Jaffe, Laura Clapps, JP Bittencourt, Rick Carey, David Fox, Tobie Smith, Jason Madden, Tory Nelson, and Johnny Albo for the contributions.
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 When midnight comes a host of dogs and men Go out and track the Badger to his den, And put the sack within his hole, and lie Till the old grunting Badger passes by. He comes and hears - they let the strongest loose. The old fox hears the noise and drops the goose. The poacher shoots and hurries from the cry, And the old hare half wounded buzzes by. They get a forked stick to bear him down And clap the dogs to take him to town. And bait him all day with many dogs, and laugh and shout and fright the scampering hogs. He runs along and bites all he meets; They shout and hollo down the noisy streets. He turns about to face the load uproar And drives the rebels to their very door. The frequent stone is hurled where'er they go; When Badgers fight, then everyone's a foe The dogs are clapt and urged to join the fray; The Badger turns and drives them all away. Though scarcely half as big, demure and small, he fights the dogs for hours and beats them all. The heavy mastiff, savage in the fray, Lies down and licks his feet and turns away. The bulldog knows his match and waxes cold, The Badger grins and never leaves his hold. He drives the crowd and follows at their heels, And bites them through - the drunkard swears and reels. The frightened woman takes the boy away, The blackguard laughs and hurries on the fray. He tries to reach the woods, an awkward race, But sticks and cudgels quickly to stop the chase. He turns again and drives the noisy crowd And beats the many dogs in noises loud. He drives away and beats them everyone, And then they loose them all and set them on. He falls as dead and kicked by dogs and men, Then starts and grins and dives into the crowd again; Till kicked and torn and beaten out he lies And leaves his hold and cackles, groans, and dies. | |